(I can't take credit for this joke, but i thought that we can all use some laughs amidst all this election and economy craziness. Depending on who wins the election, we might not get a chance to laugh for another 8 years!)
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where is yours?
2. People who are willing to get up to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too" That's right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!', which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What's up with that? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?